Marriage Series

Making time for your Spouse

Yes folks you guessed it. After God, the second most important person should be your spouse. It is important to make investments into your relationship with your spouse as it is one investment with extremely high dividends. Some of us think just because we are living with the person and seeing them every day it is not a necessity to spend time cultivating the relationship. But take it from me guys. You can see a person every day and still not know them or even know what new is going on in their lives. That why it is so important to make this time for each other. This means after you spend eight plus hours at work come home and spend time with your spouse. Unplug and tune out all distractions and just spend time together.

This can be in the form of just sitting and having a dinner together and discussing what took place in work during the day and if you had a really difficult day and you are not in the frame of mind to talk about your day, spend time unwinding by watching a funny series or movie on the television. Whatever it takes to just connect with your spouse, do it. We all have that one activity we enjoy doing with our spouses. Spend a few quiet moments thinking about it and it should become clear what that activity is.

When you think about it, most of us spend eight hours in work then we come home and see our spouse and the first thing we want to do is go on Facebook or send messages to our friends on our phones. Before you know it, the night is almost over and it’s almost time to go to bed. If you make this a routine you would realize that more time is spent on work and talking with your friends than it is on your spouse. This should not be the case.

Ask yourself today. “Do I know more about what is going on in my best friend’s life than I do about my spouse?” If that is the case then make a stand today to change that. At least once for the month have a date night. Go out and DO something fun together. It does not have to be anything expensive like dinner. You can go to a movie together or even just go for a drive together. Anything that can create an opportunity for you guys to bond.

And lastly this is mostly for the ladies. I know some of you may think that your husbands want sex way more than you do and you may think that you cannot keep up with his high sex drive but sometimes we do not have to keep up with their high sex drives but we have to be willing to compromise. Not each time your husband may feel for sex you may feel for it however refusal should be the exception rather than the norm. The word of the Lord says in 1 Corinthians 7:5 “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Each time you deny your spouse this would push him further away from you. Think about it this way. Not each time you ask your husband to help you around the house he may feel like it however he does this out of love and affection for you.

So for all of you that may be struggling in this area, take it to God. Ask him to renew your marriage and also to renew the spark in your marriage. Ask him to keep the fire burning and to help you both to continue desiring each other at all times and to have eyes only for each other not denying each other unless for legitimate reasons. If any of you may feel that you want to ask anything about this please feel free to send me a message.

This book has helped my husband and I in the early stages of our marriage so you guys can feel free to check it out.

Love Charly



  1. I love that my husband really is my best friend. We tend to do almost everything together.

  2. Oh my gosh. This is such a hard one for us. I appreciate my husband so much for this, too. He genuinely tries to make alone time with me. Whereas, in all honesty if it were left up to me, I would probably just rather stay home and take a nap. You and I both know that’s not good for my marriage! 😂

  3. I find that taking the time out to really listen to my husband is helpful. I also have to be sensitive to when he is open, rather than trying to force meaningful conversation.

  4. ains1014

    I completely agree with this and make an effort to have time with my husband each day, even if it is just ten minutes of us focused solely on each other. We do need to make an effort always, to grow and nourish the relationship with our spouse.

  5. I like your question regarding knowing more about my best friend than my husband. I don’t – thankfully, but there have been times when I probably did.

  6. Lo

    Quality time is a big deal! At least for me it is. When I read this post that’s what I think of. The 5 Love Langues.

  7. Some great advice here! My husband and I make it a habit to do at least three evenings a week spending time together in the evenings…watching movies, playing video games, etc. The other nights we spend “shoulder to shoulder” time together where I work on my blog and he works on his sermons. Plus we have sex every morning so that has never been an issue. 😉 Love the wonderful man God gave me!!!

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