My Journey

When Faith is All you have left

As I mentioned in a previous post. It is often difficult to keep your faith and your trust in God when everything seems like it is going wrong. For the past few months my husband and I have been trying to start a family. During this journey I have seen my faith being tested quite a few times. There were many times that I thought for sure I was pregnant but then the harsh reality would hit that I was not.  There were times I would scream and shout and ask why but I would get no answer. There were days I would see posts online about women asking what is the best way to get rid of their baby because they had no intentions of becoming pregnant and do not wish to keep the child. Those were the days that it hit home the most for me. I often questioned why is it that there are so many women wishing to get rid of the blessing the Lord had given to them while there were so many women who would do anything to parent a child.

I am a member of a few Christian groups online and I would see some women share their pains and their hurts over not being able to conceive. I would see women who for years are trying to have a child and still are unable to. My heart hurts for them. Before this experience I never fully understood their pain and their suffering but I know now more than ever what it feels like to want something so bad but not be able to get it. You tell yourself but I am doing everything right. I am living my life the way I should so why is it still so hard Lord? I know that the Lord has a reason for everything and I know throughout this difficult experience there is a lesson to be learned. Though I may not see it now he is doing a work within me. I rest in the comfort that he has a plan for me and his plan is to prosper me and not to harm me.

For those of you that are also going through this experience right now I know it’s hard. I know there are the days that you feel hopeless. There are the days where you don’t feel like getting out of bed. But I urge you don’t lose faith. Cling to him even more during this difficult time. Joy comes in the morning. Breakthrough is on it’s way. When man says no he says YES! Trust in him always.

“God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble” Ps 46:1

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